RESOURCES FOR MEN
You’re not crazy. You’re not weak. And you’re not alone.
Whatever brought you here — a search, a suspicion, or a moment of clarity — you’re in the right place.
This section of the site was built for you. Not for researchers. Not for policymakers. For the man sitting in his car in a parking lot reading this on his phone because he can’t look at it at home.
We know what you’re up against — because the data tells us, and because we’ve heard it firsthand. Over 52 million men in the United States have experienced intimate partner violence in their lifetime (Leemis et al., 2022). Most of them never told anyone. Most of them were never asked.
You don’t have to figure this out alone. Start wherever makes sense for you.
Click the QUICK EXIT button at any time to escape!
THE HERO’S JOURNEY
You’re not a victim. You’re more than a survivor. You’re a HERO.
This site is built on a simple idea: the men who endure abuse, protect their children, and keep going when every system fails them are not weak. They’re doing something harder than most people will ever understand — and there’s a word for that. It’s not “victim.” It’s not “survivor.”
It’s hero.
Before you explore the resources below, start here. This is the foundation everything else is built on.
TOOLS & RESOURCES
Am I Being Abused?
Not sure if what you’re experiencing counts? This screening tool walks you through the six forms of intimate partner abuse — which is more than being hit.
Immediate Safety
If you’re in danger right now — or need to cover your tracks — this page covers digital safety, how to hide your browsing, and how to secure your phone.
The Path to Healing
This page covers finding a male-friendly therapist, what to expect from the process, and why 70% of men who see a mental health professional find it helpful.
Other Men’s Stories
You are not alone. Learn from others who have escaped the cycle of abuse by reading their stories. Once you’ve escaped, you can share your story too.
Why Men Do Men Stay?
The barriers are real. Like women, men stay in abusive relationships for the kids, finances, and love, but there are unique challenges men face.
Planning a Safe Exit
Leaving is the most dangerous time. This guide walks you through how to plan a safe exit — especially when children, finances, and legal threats are involved.
Parenting Rights
False accusations. Custody threats. Restraining orders used as weapons. This covers your legal rights and how to document everything correctly.
What is Reactive Abuse?
You yelled back or shoved her hand away. Now “you’re the abuser.” Learn why your reaction is not the problem — and how she’s using it to keep you trapped.
Over 52 million men in the US have experienced intimate partner violence. Most have never told anyone. You don’t have to be one of them.
NEED HELP RIGHT NOW?
If you are in immediate danger, call 911.
National Domestic Violence Hotline: 1-800-799-7233 (call) or text START to 88788
Crisis Text Line: Text HOME to 741741
These services are available 24/7. You don’t need to give your name. You don’t need to have it figured out. You just need to reach out.
If a hotline tells you they can’t help you — and some will — call a local mental health crisis line or find a therapist through your insurance or employer. 70.6% of men who saw a mental health professional found them helpful and willing to take their concerns seriously (Douglas & Hines, 2011).
THE TRUTH
“But I Yelled Back. Does That Make Me the Abuser?”
No. It doesn’t.
If you’ve been told — by her, by a counselor, by the internet — that your reaction to sustained abuse makes you “just as bad,” you’re experiencing what researchers call reactive abuse. It’s a response to provocation, not a pattern of control. The person who controls, manipulates, isolates, and threatens is the abuser — even if you raised your voice, even if you pushed back, even if you said something you regret.
Reactive abuse is one of the most effective tools an abuser has. It makes you doubt yourself. It gives her ammunition. And it keeps you trapped — because if you believe you’re the problem, you’ll never leave.
You are not the problem.
Learn more about Reactive Abuse here.
Stay in the fight!
This site is growing. New resources — safety tools, legal guides, and stories from men who’ve walked this road — are being built right now.
Leave your email and we’ll let you know when they’re ready. Nothing else. No spam. Your privacy is protected.
1ST STEP
The First Step Is the Hardest
You found this site. That means something shifted — maybe today, maybe a long time ago. Whatever brought you here, the fact that you’re reading this means you already know something isn’t right.
Trust that instinct. It’s not weakness. It’s clarity.
Silence isn’t strength. You already know that, or you wouldn’t be here.
All statistics on this page are sourced from federal government surveys or peer-reviewed, published research. Full citations are available on our References page. We encourage independent verification of every number presented here.